The Covid-19 pandemic has reshaped our collective and respective relationships in unprecedented ways. Life in lock-down has necessitated close, constant contact with our families and partners, and social distancing measures have isolated us from our friends and extended communities. Going through the trauma and struggles of emerging from the post COVID world, can be truly distressing, and yet it presents the opportunity for growth and personal power.
When everything is business-as-usual, we often become subsumed by our daily routines living life on autopilot. All our efforts are focused on the things that we’ve “got to do” to maintain the status quo. More often than not, we just don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to actually be with ourselves, to be with our difficult emotions that alert us to the need for change.
As a therapist I have begun to see firsthand how many of my clients, during these difficult times of transition, have begun to reevaluate their relationships both to themselves and those around them. The pandemic has offered us all the opportunity to reconsider relationships in new and significant ways. In some cases, many have been experiencing greater levels of empathy, while others have been led to the conclusion that some of their relationships are not healthy, and are now making their own personal wellbeing a priority.
For many of us the constant assault of – financial concerns, frustrations, job insecurity, boredom, isolation, and the ever present possibility of contracting the virus –has challenged how we view our closest relationships. Many relationships have been experiencing increased tension, irritability, emotional distancing, mood swings and more, amplifying an already stressful situation. Even political differences and arguments over quarantine protocols have become a dealbreaker for many partners.
The isolation of the pandemic has caused many married couples to become distant, feeling they no longer have anything in common and nothing left to say. Left with a loveless and empty marriage, couples realize that only the kids were keeping them together, and that they actually don't enjoy each other's company.
Many of my clients have confessed all this uncertainty has created a feelings of fear, confusion and anxiety. These unexpected feelings have created a sense of loss and control. Learning to deal with all of these situations and stressors can be overwhelming for anyone - let alone a couple.
The most important thing you can do is make a commitment to working through these difficult times with your partner in a loving and respectful way. In a very real sense, these experiences have triggered our fight or flight response, which causes us to make impulsive decisions that we think will keep us safe. It is important to realize that most of us are living through possibly the most challenging transition of our lives. So our approach must be equal parts hard work and equal parts faith.
The following are some important impactful ways you can consider to begin healing your relationships.

• Care for each other. Offer support to one another during lock-down. Don't forget to ask each other how you are. Find new ways to spend time together. Be creative by sharing a special meal, watching a foreign movie, trying new games, reading together, or exercising together. These things can help remind you why you are together in the first place.
• Make “our” time a priority. Make time for one another and commit to your couple time, even if that time is spent virtually. If like many of us you have to work from home, unplug and set that special time to just be together. (And don’t forget to turn off your devices, being present is more important than being right)
• Affection Connection. Physical and verbal affection is always important. For many of us, something as simple as just holding hands can send the message we care more readily than words.
• Say what you mean, mean what you say. Express your thoughts, feelings, dreams, fears, concerns, and anxieties. Revisit the fun and meaningful times that you, as a couple, have shared during the course of your relationship that highlight a positive outcome or experience. Make plans even if they may not happen any time soon.
• Cherish each other. Let your partner know why you and your relationship are significant, so important right now, and how it contributes to meaning and purpose in your life.
• Commitment. In times of crisis, it is important to reassure one another that you will see it through together. Remind yourselves of your mutual love and commitment to cope with whatever challenges may come your way, with trust, dependability, and faith in each other.

 Though times are uncertain, that doesn't mean we need to meet it with a sense of doom and lack of hope. Be gentle with one another, stay connected and challenge yourselves to rediscover your selves and each other.

Now that we are beginning to reconnect with our loved ones and the world, many of us are trying to return to "normal" again. Jumping back into our old routine, however, could cause anxiety. People's fundamental ways of relating and communicating with each other and, indeed the world, have been deeply affected by staying home and social distancing. As our daily lives begin to reset, patience has to be at the forefront of everyone's mind as we learn new ways to function and move through the world.
Many of us may experience a sort of shock if we try to return to our old routines. Now is the time to reflect on what we value most in our lives and move from there to establish new routines. By resetting what we value, we can find a new appreciation for what we no longer need and what helps us cope. Enforced distancing measures are not only changing our work, family, and travel routines, but they're also changing how we interact with ourselves and each other. Learning how to cope with isolation has provided important lessons and can help us rebuild our social connections in a deeper more meaningful way.
Though we may crave tangible social interaction, the thought of going out into the world anew might seem scary for some—and that's OK. In fact, it might be hard to re-engage with the world with the same intensity as before. If that's the case, then consider a gradual reentry. As a therapist I know many will be nervous or even feel guilty about reconnecting on some level. It’s important to take your time and gauge your comfort level as you move forward; then you can begin to make healthy choices for your post-pandemic life. 
As a therapist, I often talk with my clients about boundaries. You can take steps to place boundaries on your time and environment, as you resume your old activities and routines, and begin to resume your social connection(s). For example, consider eating at a restaurant with outside seating where it's easier to establish social-distancing instead of dinning indoors. For those who used ride-share services pre-COVID-19, the safer decision now may be to drive yourself in order to manage concerns about sanitization and close contact with others in confined spaces. Or if you are like me, returning to the gym is a challenging thought. Ask the staff about the least busy times and schedule your workout times accordingly. 
Whatever the case, to gauge your comfort level, and reduce stress levels related to social situations, ask yourself these questions:

• What, from isolation, do I want to continue?
• How do I balance my social time and home time?
• How can I manage my time and activities to prevent causing increased anxiety?
• What sort of things am I going to do to take care of myself, whether it be time alone, exercise, or downtime with family?

The bottom line is - we do not know when COVID-19 will end or if dealing with these sorts of pandemics are the new norm. So, establishing a personal management plan now to socially reconnect could be one we revisit in the years ahead. Practicing cleanliness and social distancing, gauging one's social comfort level, and scheduling a regular check-in with a mental health professional, will help manage stress and anxiety as we reconnect with each other and the world.