
As many will tell you, the recovery process always seems counter intuitive on some level because it challenges everything you believe about yourself and the behaviors you have adopted to survive. Working with your recovery manger to learn how you came to criticize, shame and guilt yourself for your feelings - which are the underpinning of your addictions – is an imperative part of the process. It is important to realize that a certain degree of emotional maturity is required to confront your feelings directly, without self-ridicule or self-judgment. Freeing yourself from any sort of addiction involves growing emotionally and learning to redefine your relationship to yourself. Emotional growth is the inevitable outcome when you begin dealing with your past and learn that it no longer has power over you. The recovery process is really more about learning to manage your relationship to your feelings; it is not about learning to control them. Addictions are only truly extinguished when there's no longer a need to run from your self and your feelings.
So what happens when you reach the stage in your recovery when you have learned to manage yourself and you are finally free from the grip of your addictions? This can be both a liberating and a daunting phase of recovery. The question becomes what do you want to accomplish and how will you get there? Here are some important steps you can take to ensure you accomplish your goals no matter what they are.
Envision your future
· Ask yourself what is the life you have always wanted. What would that look like? What would you be doing? Who would be there with you? Indulge yourself - don’t be afraid to dream big.
Write it down
· Write a letter to the future you. Describe what you are doing, how it feels to be there and what you have accomplished.
Use reminders
· Surround yourself with little reminders of your vision. If you want a new car, for instance, place a miniature version of the car you want in a place you will always see it to remind you of your goal.
Make a plan
· Revisit your plan and break it down into manageable parts and begin to address each part individually by crafting a practical plan to attain each.
Move Forward
· Move forward with an open mind. Things don’t always turn out the way we envision, but by locking ourselves into one of way of looking at things, we block the possibility of something better. Be open to possibilities.
Don’t get bogged down in the little things
· No matter what you feel in the moment - lonely, self-critical, tired, lazy, or disappointed - do something to maintain momentum, even if it’s one little thing.
There’s an old adage that says that true courage isn’t about not feeling fear; it’s about feeling fear and acting anyway.
Find your place in the sun!
So what happens when you reach the stage in your recovery when you have learned to manage yourself and you are finally free from the grip of your addictions? This can be both a liberating and a daunting phase of recovery. The question becomes what do you want to accomplish and how will you get there? Here are some important steps you can take to ensure you accomplish your goals no matter what they are.
Envision your future
· Ask yourself what is the life you have always wanted. What would that look like? What would you be doing? Who would be there with you? Indulge yourself - don’t be afraid to dream big.
Write it down
· Write a letter to the future you. Describe what you are doing, how it feels to be there and what you have accomplished.
Use reminders
· Surround yourself with little reminders of your vision. If you want a new car, for instance, place a miniature version of the car you want in a place you will always see it to remind you of your goal.
Make a plan
· Revisit your plan and break it down into manageable parts and begin to address each part individually by crafting a practical plan to attain each.
Move Forward
· Move forward with an open mind. Things don’t always turn out the way we envision, but by locking ourselves into one of way of looking at things, we block the possibility of something better. Be open to possibilities.
Don’t get bogged down in the little things
· No matter what you feel in the moment - lonely, self-critical, tired, lazy, or disappointed - do something to maintain momentum, even if it’s one little thing.
There’s an old adage that says that true courage isn’t about not feeling fear; it’s about feeling fear and acting anyway.
Find your place in the sun!